A few weeks ago, I had hit a bump in my road. I was exhausted and going through my days just trying to get everything done. I was questioning whether to continue as I had created things i.e. my business. My mantra was, “Never give up. Never give up.” I read this in all business books. The negative part of me justified quitting by explaining that there are businesses that go under or throw up their hands. The enormous positive part of me knows that giving up is NOT me. The amazing women around me were so positive. I asked them, “Why are you so cheery and positive?” They replied, “You taught us to be this way.”

Everyone who knows and understands what I do, knows that the world is full of metaphors and that we can establish our own meaning in life’s messages. When I’m down in the dumps, I look for affirmations. When I’m feeling hopeful or discouraged, I practice my affirmations. A few weeks ago, I was desperate for some “me” time and some messages to affirm me to continue on. I knew that in a few weeks, I had some deeply needed scheduled rest time. Here’s what I found…

On Wednesday night, I ran into a friend who said, “Are you ready for our trip this weekend?” I said, “Not this weekend, but November 4th, I’ll be ready.” In fact my trip was scheduled for October 14th and I had written it on the wrong weekend. Due to just needing some peace and quiet, I almost cancelled on my friend, but I always honor a commitment. This was the first of affirmation “whispers”.

The next afternoon, I attended the Fayetteville Ladies Power Lunch. There, Pat Fortenberry, who made millions selling Mary Kay products, shared her story and tidbits on ways to succeed. The first story she shared was about a mule that was being buried alive. To make a long story short, the mule shook off the dirt that was being dumped on him, raised the ground he stood upon, and ended up climbing out of the hole. The second story she shared was about Monty Roberts. For those of you who do not know who Monty Roberts is, he is a world-renowned horse trainer/gentler. He grew up with a horribly abusive father who not only tortured Monty, but the horses he trained as well. At a very young age, Monty knew he would do things differently. Pat shared that Monty had a school assignment to write an essay on a dream of his. He wrote that he would be a horse trainer on a 200-acre ranch. His teacher asked him to re-write his essay as she thought his dream was unobtainable. He kept his dream and took the “F”.

I know these stories are about motivation, inspiration, and perseverance, but what are the chances that a Mary Kay person would be talking about horses at a women’s power lunch? That message was meant for me and I was there to receive it!

The next day, I scrambled to Atlanta with my friend. We had tickets to see Dr. Oz, Gayle King, and Suzie Orman. While getting dressed on Saturday morning, I heard on the news that Oprah was in Atlanta for the O! You! Conference. That was where I was headed. I can’t tell you how exhilarating and energizing seeing my idol in person was. I was present to hear and receive her messages about perseverance. I received them! It was not rest that I needed. It was being around 5000 other motivated and empowered women. The energy was contagious!

The final message came from Donna Brazile from New Orleans, LA, a woman with whom I was unfamiliar. She appears to be in her 60s and talked about taking chances and doing things that one longs to do. Her life long dream was to learn to ride horses. Off she went.

I’m often tired, but not like I was last week. When down and out and not feeling my best, millions of messages and affirmations were coming my way. I always choose to consider the positive. What kind of perspective do you have about what happens in your life? I challenge you to be present, aware, and open to receiving whatever life has to deliver. It is always great. You just have to find the blessings.

Heather Wilkerson, MSW, LCSW, President
Hope-thru-Horses, Inc.
hthi@hthi.us
(910) 494-5888

A friend told me about a magazine called Law of Attraction.  In, “You Can Choose a New Financial Reality; Take the Bill-Paying Challenge and Shift your Vibration Around Money,” Elyse Hope Killoran offered a new perspective when paying bills and assuming loans.  http://lawofattractionmag.com

People often associate feeling disorganized, overwhelmed, trapped, and ashamed when considering their debt and bills to be paid.

In the second exercise, Elyse suggests that one imagines paying bills from a bank account that is always replenished and abundant.  What thoughts or feelings would one experience if this were the case?  Feelings associated with a full bank account might be confident, proud, liberated.

When paying bills, Elyse recommends that one stops to reflect upon and be grateful for whatever benefits came from the use of the product or service of which is being paid. I take this one step further.  When I sit down to make my land payment, I will be incredibly grateful for the opportunities that this loan has provided.  Because of this land, we are able to provide a safe and nurturing place, which incorporates animals and nature to help people “Get Unstuck”.  I look forward to making this payment in September.  Figure out how your bills feed your vision; you will find a relationship between the two if you look deep enough.

Consider this, how does your payment affect others? The people processing your payments would not be able to provide for their families if it weren’t for their jobs.  Once you begin to view money as circular just as you breathe, in and out, you will begin to experience abundance.

Finally, one of my favorite suggestions offered by Elyse was to attach a sticky note or business card with a friendly word onto your payment.  Imagine how your life could touch another person’s with a kind word.  You never know who will need it just at that moment.  I am excited about sitting down to pay my bills this weekend!

Heather Wilkerson, MSW, LCSW, President

Hope-thru-Horses, Inc.

hthi@hthi.us

(910) 494-5888

By: Rose Moredock, MA, LPC-A

In addition to Equine Assisted Therapy, retreats, and corporate team building, Hope Thru Horses, Inc. offers horseback riding and horsemanship lessons.  The approach to lessons  is unique in that students learn a wealth of information that will prepare them to work with horses independently.  Proper technique is taught and utilized and an emphasis is placed on the building a relationship between the horse and rider.  Goals are established for each rider and an individualized plan is created to help ensure that they are met.

Marcus is a young adult with autism who has always enjoyed being around horses. Marcus does not speak and understands about half of any verbal instructions given to him so it was difficult for his mother to find a riding instructor who believed Marcus was capable of riding independently even though he did very well while being led on the horse.

Some of the Marcus’ goals were to increase his independence and his ability to follow instructions and communicate with his horse, Scotch, and instructor. As his riding instructor I noticed that he would emulate my actions so I started demonstrating the task I needed him to do and then asking him to do the same. We started with getting on and off Scotch without using a mounting block or steps; Marcus did great and his mother and I celebrated with him. Marcus soon learned that he needed to pay attention to his surroundings and duck under low tree branches. After three lessons he was pointing to trees ahead, pointing at me and then lowering his body. I realized that he was trying to tell me that a tree was coming up and I needed to duck because he would not stop pointing and getting my attention until I ducked as well.

Marcus’ favorite thing to do with Scotch is trot but he wasn’t able to ask Scotch to do this. He was dependent on me to communicate with the horse on his behalf and there were times when this would frustrate Marcus. During a lesson Marcus watched me as I let Scotch know he needed to trot by “smooching” to him. The next time I slowed Scotch to a walk Marcus shook his hands and started trying to smooch to Scotch; Scotch recognized this and started trotting! Marcus laughed, clapped his hands and then got off Scotch and walked to the car. He recognized the peak in his lesson and celebrated his success.

In a culture that focuses on success it is easy to overlook our achievements in pursuit of our next accomplishment. How often do we fail to recognize the peaks we experience throughout our day? It can be a challenge to take notice of small daily peaks in the lives of our families and ourselves but the benefits of making the effort to do so are well worth the effort.

Marcus and I are working on his ability to ride Scotch without me playing an active role. I know my student is capable of this and I will be sure to celebrate the peaks he experiences along the way. I also know that if I become too preoccupied with pursuing this goal my brilliant student will remind me to celebrate the peaks.

Often times women compromise themselves because of fear. They fear not being loved. They are afraid of failing. They are afraid of succeeding. They are afraid of not being enough. All of these fears are about how women are perceived by others. Women often do not stand up for themselves or lose their authentic self because of these fears. Through experiences with horses, women realize this and regain it.

The idea is… If you learn to trust (a large powerful animal), you experience emotional security and physical safety. Because you experience it (instead of talking about what it might feel like), you can identify that safety and security in your everyday life (outside of the arena). You, therefore, maintain your spiritual integrity, your personal truths. You can trust in your process. Like horses, you learn to connect your mind, body, and spirit to live in the moment by trusting internal and external messages/cues or intuition as you relate to your world.

For this article, I asked Amy Dial our Master’s of Counseling intern who is attending the University of North Carolina, Pembroke to share a therapy session that touched her the most. This is what she wrote.

This was Cam’s 3rd afternoon of trying. The task was to get a horse to move in the circle around him in the round pen. He just couldn’t get that horse to move. The only rule was that Cam couldn’t touch the horse. He tried kicking, crying, yelling and finally sulking. After spending his 2 previous afternoons making no headway with his task, Cam was feeling pretty defeated. His face was wrinkled up with traces of tears running down his face.

On this 3rd afternoon Cam bounded into the field and stated, “Ok, I’m ready. I’m going to get that horse to move”. He began to tell that horse in no uncertain terms who the boss was. He gave commands and directions like a 5 star general. As soon as the horse began walking around the pen Cam turned around, his face lit up like a New York City marquee, and squealed, “I’m doing it, I’m doing it, look I’m doing it”!

This session touched me because Cam had such an expressive face. You could read the defeat in his eyes and by the crease of his brow. Just as his negative expressions screamed out so did his joy at ‘making that horse move’. He tackled his problem and spoke with confidence. The message clicked so well in his mind. He also began to apply this confidence to his schoolwork and homework; a true breakthrough.

For more information, you can contact Heather Wilkerson at Hope-thru-Horses, Inc. at
494-5888.

A few weeks ago, the members of “Between Us Girls”, a women’s networking group, got together to visualize, create, and live their dreams (on a vision board). It was incredible. It empowered one another to reach for the stars as we created “pictures” of our future.

What is a vision board?

It is a board, poster board, and picture board, whatever type of display that would attract you to look at it constantly! On the board, you place pictures, quotations, ideas, and anything else that would remind and inspire you to achieve your goals. There are a million ways to create a vision board. You can start with a specific goal in mind or several. You can make it for a specific time period i.e. 3 months or over your lifetime. The more specific you are, the better.

How do you make a vision board?

Step 1: Gather all types of magazines, newspapers, etc.

Step 2: Thumb through them considering what your goals might be.

Step 3: Cut out anything that catches your eye. Don’t let your doubt filter out possible great ideas.

Step 4: Focus on what you DO want versus what you do not want. For example, instead of losing weight, focus on the body you would like to have i.e. if you are a size 14, don’t focus on losing 10 pounds. Focus on being a size 12. Instead of focusing on what you hate about your job, focus on what you would like in your job.

Step 5: Paste your ideas on your board. The only right way to do this is YOUR way.

Step 6: Post the board where you will look at it the most. The more you see it, the more you remind yourself of your goals and vision.

Step 7: Share your board. Talk about your dreams. The more you visualize and focus on what you want, the more you will re-train your way of thinking thereby eliminating what you don’t want.

Step 8: Have fun!

What are some ideas for your vision board?

Create a “family” centered board. What are the goals of your family unit?

Create a couple’s board.

Make mini vision boards for your car and workplace.

Make a vision board themed girls’ night.

Women’s View Magazine is inviting you to share your vision (board). Let’s support and inspire one another. I can’t wait to see what you create!

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